Don't worry- this Kimberly Ovitz t-shirt that barely serves its function as a nipple covering is on sale! All yours for the bargain price of $192.50
When I was in high school, Seven For All Mankind jeans became the biggest status symbol since Tommy Hilfiger cologne began odiferously overpowering our school dances in the 6th grade. I remember being so horribly in love with a pair that I somehow convinced my mother to purchase them for me for my birthday. Clad in my Lacoste polo and Seven’s, I strode the halls of Skaneateles Senior High School like a champion the day after my birthday; god damn it, I looked good.
I remember my mother’s absolute horror when I initially broached the subject of these jeans. At the time, I distinctly recall they cost $130.00, which seems almost paltry in 2009 standards for designer jeans, what with many of the brands up in the $300 range. In my mother’s day, jeans were…jeans. They were destroyed because.. YOU destroyed them. They were cool because YOU made them cool. They were just jeans!
In my defense, I made the (somewhat valid) point that she probably would not have bat an eye if I had asked for a $130.00 dress for a school dance, prom, etc, which would realistically only be worn once. These would be my favorite jeans! I would walk them, and play with them, and brush their fur, and feed them and clean up after them!
So I had an “omfg-I-equal-my-mom” moment when I went to look for some tank tops/t shirts last night. In my haste to purchase things I adore and love and forget the “boring details’ (like pants, underwear, etc) I realized I had barely any suitable tank tops or t-shirts for layering, and it was becoming a serious problem. Plus, it’s the season of giving (to myself)! Thus, as a good samaritan, I went to my old standby, ShopBop, to look for some good closet staples.
Much to my dismay, everything was $75.00 and up. That’s right. Seventy five U.S. dollars. For.a.tank.top. I know there must be a difference between the fabric Alexander Wang uses and the fabric Old Navy uses but… it’s still just a tank top? How is this possible? It annoyed me for about 5 minutes until I realized that the fashion industry was totally trying to pull one over on me! THEY ARE JEAN-IFYING THE T SHIRT! They thought “Wow, we got these suckers to pay crazy clams for jeans, lets try some other American-as-apple-pie-and-costs-five-cents-to-produce-in-Cambodia item!”
In the end, I went to my other standby, Urban Outfitters, where I found some tanks for $15 each, allowing me to purchase a multitude of colors. And then, I went and called my mother to complain about prices, because, you know, when I was young, movies only cost a nickel, kids had respect for their elders and t shirts weren’t considered couture.
Big Apple To The Beltway 